


RE: Status Update

by Iceyprincess



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dark Comedy, Horror, Horror Comedy, unsure how to tag this really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 08:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18869758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceyprincess/pseuds/Iceyprincess
Summary: Hey, Ally.Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you in a while. Things have been rather hectic, and I literally haven’t been able to talk to you. It’s starting to wear off but we’ll have to stick to text for now. You better have been staying out of trouble! I know you think you’re immortal but we can’t take any chances with this shit.Sorry. Anyway. I’ve been looking around town, chatting people up, the usual. Everyone’s still all weird around me. Like, I get it, weird outsider with her brothers sword, but I’m trying my best here! I hope you’ve had better luck. Here’s a rundown of what I’ve been up to;





	RE: Status Update

Hey, Ally. 

Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you in a while. Things have been rather hectic, and I literally haven’t been able to talk to you. It’s starting to wear off but we’ll have to stick to text for now. You better have been staying out of trouble! I know you think you’re immortal but we can’t take any chances with this shit. 

Sorry. Anyway. I’ve been looking around town, chatting people up, the usual. Everyone’s still all weird around me. Like, I get it, weird outsider with her brothers sword, but I’m trying my best here! I hope you’ve had better luck. Here’s a rundown of what I’ve been up to;

* Talked to Bill at the sheriff's office. Somethings weird about that guy. Like, he seems nice, but he just feels gross. Like physically gross, I feel like I need to take a shower after I talk with him. Which is weird because I think he’s a compulsive neat freak. Anyway we chatted for a while; they finally got some better handcuffs stocked which is nice. We had the standard back and forth, yknow the deal, blah blah stay out of trouble delinquent stuff. But they all just seem tired of us at this point. Bill told us that he appreciated the thought but that we were a ‘dark stain’ on the ‘fragile tapestry of this town’. Said some things about how if we weren’t careful then he would have to ‘clean up our mess’. Dudes got a complex, I swear. Super weird. Keep an eye on him, okay?

* I managed to get a temp job over at that one jewelry place, with the old lady and the name that changed every week. It’s a nice gig, the old lady is actually super sweet. She’s going by Evelyn right now. Anyway, while cleaning up I found an old bracelet in the back. Super shiney. Obviously a mcguffin. Considered stealing it, but that would’ve been really rude to Evelyn. (Jane? Wait, no, she was Patricia at that point. Actually I hadn’t checked if she’s still Evelyn. Fuck.) Anyway, showed it to The Artist Formerly Known as Patricia and she got all excited. Apparently she lost the thing years ago. Said it’s name was ‘Novus’. Which is weird, because it was always Novus and never anything else. It went on display and that rich douche in that one McMansion bought it for his girlfriend. Probably not the last time we’ll see Novus, though. Also, Evelyn gave my brother’s sword some silver engravings! I can’t wait to show you, it’ll be so handy when dealing with those dogs in the park. 

* There is DEFINITELY something in the water. Like, all the water. Yknow how we keep bouncing between the lake, the aquarium, and the pool? Think it’s connected. I noticed it when I was taking a shower the other day; I heard the singing in the pipes. It was really faint, but it was there. Experimented for a while and I figured out that you can start hearing it with just about any source of water, as long as it’s flowing, and you drink a cup of saltwater. (Really gross, by the way.) I don’t know what the hell it is, but whatever it is, I probably can’t stab it with my brothers sword. 

* Found an old mcguffin; the glass eye. It was just kind of laying on the ground. I don’t know where it disappeared off to in the first place, but now it’s just… garbage. I mean, most mcguffins are useless garbage anyway, but this is one lost that sense of importance. If it wasn’t for that weird pupil I wouldn’t have recognized it. Did it get used, somehow? Did someone else break it first? I don’t know, but it’s kinda freaking me out. 

* Tried to kill the vampire up by the church. Turns out he wasn’t a vampire, just a weirdly youthful old dude who doesn’t like sunlight. The church bit probably should’ve given that away. He thought it was pretty funny actually. Nice guy, for a vampire. Do you think we should try holy water or garlic next? I’m thinking garlic mixed in holy water. 

* I saw my brother again last night. Woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn’t move. I saw him standing there, over my bed, staring at me. He hasn’t changed at all. I can still see the wall behind him through that gap in his skull. He ran a hand over my hair, and gently pulled the sword out from under my pillow, before turning to a dark shape I hadn’t noticed before, hiding in the corner. I didn’t see what happened next. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, my hair stunk and my brothers sword was in the living room. 

Think that’s about everything. I’m gonna spend the weekend off. Wanna get dinner sometime? I think that one BBQ place is open again. Real ham, this time. 

See you soon,

Sarah


End file.
